Church Hopping Part 1

When my wife and I first moved to Birmingham early in 2007 we visited many churches before finding a home. Now that our time in the deep south is almost at an end, we've begun church hopping after 2 1/2 years of service at Vestavia Hills Baptist Church. My reason for doing this aside from needing a ministry break for a few months before transitioning to a full-time life long pastoral ministry was to see different "interesting" churches to see what I could glean and hopefully improve my own skills as a preacher/pastor. I do not go to criticize churches but to learn from them, and I will only go to churches I am really eager about worshiping at. I hope to report my findings here. (Probably won't list names)

This Sunday my wife and I went to a huge, famous church that we visited about 2 years ago. Coincidentally, both times we have visited, the main (famous) preacher was out. The church's preacher this Sunday was Dr. such and such, who seemed like he was part of the staff, not an outside guest (But I could be wrong).

Here are some observations...
1. "Poverty" All over the mammoth campus were artistic depictions of poverty around the world. We got there early because I am anal about being on time to church, but to assure timeliness I refused my wife's request to stop at Starbucks, assuring her that there would be coffee at the megachurch (come on, they always have gourmet coffee right?). We followed our noses to the coffee stand (which was nowhere near the main entrance) and were saddened to see a sign demanding $1 for a cup. That sign also indicated that many in the world live on less than that per day, reinforcing the "poverty" theme at the church. That was cool and all, but we just didn't have cash. I probably could have scored my wife a free cup if I told them we were visitors, but that seemed to be contraflow to the whole "awareness" theme. All along the walls were more signs about poverty in the world. An elaborate "Bethlehem" set filled the stage, recasting Jesus' birthplace as a modern shanty town similar to those I've seen in Africa. When we entered the cavernous sanctuary we sat near the front and almost dead-center.
The seats were very nice theater seats complete with wood armrests. They were honestly the nicest seats I've ever seen in a church. The set was Disneyland-quality, and the people on stage were young, well-dressed, and attractive. Discontinuity? I thought so, as did my wife. The underlying message seemed to be see the poverty? Good. Now please take your comfy, climate controlled seats. I know observing this contradiction has become cliche in the blogosphere, but it really was striking. I have been to churches in Africa with much longer services held outside in crappy weather where we stood the whole time. Can we at least go halfway and meet at the roller rink a couple miles away. The whole church could have easily stood in the building and be shielded from the elements, and there is PA system that the preacher could used already set up. Why not worship there? I know the owner and I'm sure he'd rent it out for the day for about $1,000, according to official attendance figures, that would be about 25 cents per member.

2. The worship (=music) was far less revolutionary than the building's signage. Very typical, well-done, good-looking, well-rehearsed, experientially-themed songs from the big names of white worship music. <- Yeah I said, "white," black church music is different, so it's relevant to note. There was a testimony about breast cancer woven into a song. I have been to black churches where a testimony like that would have stopped the service for a minutes-long praise fest-- very powerful. This time the testimony was just a part of the musical number (and it was actually read from a script!). Overall, I felt like I was watching a show. So did others. The guy in front of me (about 40 years old) texted on his blackberry for most of the service and the two 20-something girls next to me kept talking. A couple kids slept and fidgeted as well. My wife looked like she was envisioning the Dexter episodes we would begin watching as soon as we got home. I can honestly say I tried to get into it, but felt no closer to God than as I was on the drive over.

3. The sermon- This church is known for its heavy biblical emphasis and great expository preaching. This sermon was kind of dull, and was poorly exposited. The pastor is known to be a staunch Calvinist in the vein of the new SBC seminarians, the text was from John 10, a slam dunk for Calvinists, but instead of hearing a praise about the glory of God in making his sheep KNOW the voice of the sheppard, the preacher turned the sermon into a moralistic message about the thief (who tempts us with booze, sex, and power) and how we (the sheep) have a choice between following the thief or the sheppard. The preacher even quoted Mr. "Glory to God" - John Piper, yet his sermon was a lazy Arminian exhortation to "choose Jesus" in the grand tradition of revivalist Baptist preaching. My preaching prof Dr. Smith would have demanded from the preacher, "Where is the victory of Christ?" It was obvious in the text but hidden in sermon. The other texts earlier in John that illuminate Jesus' teaching in chapter 10 were referred to (leading me to believe the sermon was researched with decent commentaries), but the preacher never seemed to connect the passages (my wife said as much).
Also, the sermon began with a report of a study about holiday-depression, including the preacher quoting people suffering from the malady (although he referred to them as "so-called sufferers"). He spoke of these people in a light manner and a few laughs and other noises indicated disgust from the crowd. The preacher went with it and got harsher, making the people of his illustration sound down-right ridiculous. The crowd responded even stronger in their affirmation of his ridicule. I don't think he originally intended to put down depressive people, but he certainly went with the whim of the crowd and do just that. I know there were some people in that room who silently suffered through the service without hearing another word from the preacher who made light of a real affliction. (INSIGHT TO AUTHOR: I do not get seasonal depression but have struggled with chronic depression most of my adult life)

These were my main observations from a big ol' famous church.